Teenage Struggles - Chapter Nineteen
Together, Zayn and I walked out of the music store and met back up with all the others; they were sitting around together in a group in the waiting area surrounded by a countless number of security guards. Everyone’s faces seemed to have lit up when Zayn and I had walked over to the group holding hands.
“I guess the two of you are back together then yeah?” Liam asked the two of us, with a cute innocent smile upon his face
“Hm, I guess so” I said to Liam then looked up at Zayn for reassurance. He nodded and happily smiled at me.
“Soooo does this mean we can head to North America now? I really want to try the food they got there, I know exactly what I’m going to eat first, I brought a checklist!” Niall proudly told us
Zayn laughed and nodded at Niall
“We’ll have more than enough time for our first appearance and show tomorrow night if we catch the earliest first flight tomorrow morning” Zayn told the boys
I couldn’t help but be a little saddened when Zayn said that tomorrow morning they’d be leaving England. I folded my hands behind my back and tried my best to cover up my feelings with a smile.
I should be happy Zayn is getting back to work again, it’s best for him and the boys. I thought, trying to convince myself.
Danielle gave Liam a kiss and tightly hugged him. I noticed her starting to tear up a little when she went in for the hug, I could tell by the look on Liam’s face that he was trying his best not to cry as well. Eleanor and Louis hugged and kissed each other too but Louis tried keeping Eleanor happy by making her laugh instead of being sad. He’s quite good at that. Niall held Danas hand firmly and told her that he loved her while Brenda was sitting on Harrys lap as they quietly spoke to one another.
I silently stood next to Zayn, trying to maintain a happy facial expression. He put his arms through the small space in between my arms and waist and tightly hugged me from behind. He rested his head on my right shoulder and kissed the side of my face near my ear.
“I love you” Zayn whispered
I turned around to face him, he scrunched up his face as if he were about to cry.
“I don’t know how I’ll be able to cope without you with me for so many months, so on long weekends I’m going to pay to fly you down to wherever I am. You probably won’t be alone on the flight, I’m sure the other boys will do the same for their girlfriends. You don’t go back for another week yeah? I’ll buy you a plane ticket for our second show in New York and we can spend the day shopping and exploring the city together.”
I put my hands into each of his sweater pockets. “Okay, just make sure you have a good time, I’ll try my best to convince my dad of letting me take a week off of school here and there to come and see some of your shows.”
Zayn flashed one of his contagious smiles at me and winked.
I gave all the boys quick goodbye kisses and hugs before it was time for all the girls, including myself, to leave the airport. Together Danielle, Eleanor, Dana, Brenda and I said our final goodbyes to the boys and we headed in our own Directions.
I don’t know if I should post it?!
Okay so I’ve already finished writing Chapter 19 but I’m not 100% happy with the ending…. you guys have been waiting so long though so I think I’m gunna post it anyways but I dont know ahh!
Teenage Struggles - Chapter Eighteen
The shop next door was a music store that sold Cd’s and a couple movies. I looked around the practically empty store to see if Zayn was in there and sure enough he was standing at the very back looking at some movies all by himself. Moments began playing as background music in the store, Zayn looked up and around in devastation then returned to reading the cover of movie.
I had told Zayn a couple days after meeting him that Moments was one of my favourite songs off the album and how it never failed to make me cry. It always reminded me of my mom’s death even though the songs message was entirely different. I still haven’t told him how she died, I never really told anyone after I made the mistake of telling Claire … I just don’t trust people with my personal life secrets anymore. Zayn is different though, I realize now that I can trust him with anything, any secret, any experience, anything. I’m sure he’s going to want to apologize the moment I approach him but I’m not going to let him. It’s taken me a while to realize but now I know that Zayn broke up with me for a reason. He did it to protect me and keep me from having to go through not being with him for so many months and to keep me from constantly worrying about him. After he broke up with me, I spent weeks with nothing but anger towards him when really I should’ve thanked him and continued on with my life. When we were together I should’ve trusted him and been more honest towards him, I should have thanked him daily because he was the reason I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face. Maybe I seem obsessed but Zayn said it himself “Never call a girl obsessed when she’s just in love”. I know now thatI love Zayn Malik; the boy who came from a town in England called Bradford, the boy who seems so shy and quiet when you first meet him, not the famous Zayn Malik from One Direction. I’ve told him I love him before but now that I actually know I am, I can’t help but wonder if he has really loved me like this all this time.
I briefly closed my eyes and took a deep breath before walking further into the store where Zayn was still looking at some movies. I stood behind him silently before I finally gained enough courage to lightly tap his shoulder.
“WHAT?” He said loudly as he turned back to me with a face that looked like it was trying to hold back tears.
Zayn’s eyes enlarged and he looked as if his heart had missed a few beats.
The two of us stood in the back of the empty music store facing each other in complete silence while moments continued to play in the background. The chorus of moments started and I felt my whole body tense up and my eyes began to water.
Without saying a single word, Zayn forced a warm hug around me; his arms tightly around my shoulders, my face resting comfortably in his chest. In that moment I started properly crying, in that moment I realized so many things. I realized how much I missed Zayn’s comforting bear hugs, how he would try to be as gentle as possible when hugging me because he claimed he was afraid of breaking me. I realized how much I missed how his soft kiss would brighten my day and be the cure to anything. How whenever I felt sad or lonely he would do everything in his power to make me laugh, but most of all I missed how whenever I needed someone, he never failed to be there. He was always there for me.
The song ended and, still in Zayn’s arms, I wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my sweater.
“I’m, sorry” Zayn quietly whispered as be loosened his grip around me.
“I’m still young and so are you but I know I never want to live without you in my life. I don’t deserve someone like you. You deserve someone who can properly love you and never leaves even when things get tough. You deserve so much more than what I have to offer April”
Hearing my name being said by Zayn once again gave me goose bumps.
“In all honestly, I don’t think I deserve someone like you either, I add way too much unneeded stress and problems to your life that you’re better off without.”
“But I love you” We said together, almost in unison
I was slightly shocked that he feels the same way about me as I do him and I could tell that he was surprised to hear it too.
A smile formed on his face but then quickly disappeared.
“I know you’re too good for me but also know that I’m a lucky guy to have you. I promise I’ll never leave you like that again.”
I smiled and grabbed Zayn’s hand, our fingers interlocked and I gave him the kiss I have been dying to give him in weeks.
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Thanks for being patient with the fanfic, I’ve been really sick so I didn’t feel like updating.
I’m done the next chapter it just needs to be typed out so It’ll be posted at about 8:30 tonight (: xx
If you haven’t read chapter 17 yet, Read it here
Teenage Struggles - Chapter Seventeen
Though it was late when my dad and I finally arrived at London airport, the parking lot was extremely busy as per usual. My dad drove and stopped by the main entrance and told me to go inside without him. I quickly ran in and began wandering around the crowded hallways in search of Zayn or one the other boys.
I passed by a small McDonalds with a whole bunch of screaming teenage girls around it with their cameras out. Niall was sitting at one of the tables eating with Dana and of course they were surrounded by tons of security guards. These were the really protective security too; they wouldn’t let any fans even close to the couples table. I noticed one of the security guards was the same one from the signing a few weeks back and thankfully he recognised me and let me speak with Niall.
“Shit I haven’t seen you in a while April!” Niall said greeting me with one of his extremely comforting Horan hugs
“Hello to you too Niall” I said hugging back
“Hi Dana!” I said flashing a big smile at her. She mirrored my action
“Niall, do you happen to know where Zayn is?” I concernedly asked
“Yeah… Uh, he said earlier that he was going for a walk around the airport so he’s not with the others. Danielle or Liam might know more about where he is though; they should be over at the shops in section B 12” He said pointing to his right with a big mac in his other hand.
I looked over at the large column just to the right of the table; in bold blue letters it said B 8.
“Okay well hopefully I’ll see you two later then, yeah?” I said loudly to them as I hurried off to look for the shops.
Just down a few long hallways from the McDonalds was where the shop section was. I noticed Eleanor, Danielle and the cute cashier that Harry seemed to like together in a small woman’s clothing store.
I ran over to the group, I started to tear up.
“Hey guys!” I said giving each one of them a huge hug.
“I missed having you around so much” Eleanor confessed looking quite upset about it yet happy to see me again.
Danielle nodded along in agreement with Eleanor; both looked just as happy and excited as I was. The cashier introduced herself as Brenda, she seems like she’s a very sweet girl, someone that Harry defiantly deserves.
“Zayn is by himself in the store next to us if you’re wondering, he said he wanted to be by himself but I‘m sure he’d love to see you right now.” Danielle told me
I smiled when I heard Zayn’s name being said and it was a relief to know that he was nearby.
As I told the girls that I was going to go surprise Zayn, I heard 3 obnoxiously loud boys enter the store. Louis, Harry and Liam walked into the woman’s store; Louis spotted me from the entrance and immediately ran over. He suffocated me with one of his ginormous hugs and screamed in my ear
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!”
I tried answering Louis but the words couldn’t come out because he was squeezing my stomach so tightly.
Liam and Harry also joined the group hug and Harry gave me a slobbery kiss on the cheek like he normally did when we were goofing around together. Just by having us all back together in a group again I really realized how much I’ve missed them all, it felt like I was being reunited with my friends after being away for years when in reality it was just a few weeks.
After struggling to be let go from the hug I told everyone that I was going to find and talk to Zayn and hopefully make things work out between us.
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Teenage Struggles - Chapter Sixteen
Missed call #1: received at 1:50pm
April its Zayn, call or text me back soon. I really need to talk with you, it’s important.
I decided to ignore Zayn and his message and listen to the second one.
Missed call #2: received at 6:47pm
Hey April its Danielle. Call me when you hear this.
I immediately dialed Danielle’s number after listening to the short message. After only a few rings, she answered.
“Oh thank God you called April!” Danielle said happily as soon as she picked up the phone
“Why? what’s going on is something wrong?” I asked
“Well I was with the Liam, the rest of the boys and their girlfriends all day today and I just wanted to let you know that Zayn seemed really down. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he had done something really stupid. I figured it has something to do with you… I heard about the breakup” Her voice lowered and she seemed sad when she mentioned the Zayn and I’s breakup.
“Yeah Zayn did do something stupid and as a result of that I got my heart broken all because of his ‘stupid mistake’. So I don’t care how much he wants to apologize, he obviously meant nothing he ever said to me anyway and he probably just feels lonely now that he’s the only one without a girlfriend.” I yelled back, feeling frustrated
“I think it’s a little more serious than that… All the boys went to Ireland last week, One Direction is supposed to be in the States right now but when we got to the airport Zayn sat in a chair and refused to get up to board the plane. We ended up missing the flight and he said he needed to try to fix things with you before going anywhere. I think Zayn’s really upset about you not answering any of his texts too. I’m sorry you had to hear all this from me, he really wanted to tell you himself”
There was a moment of silence as I thought through everything Danielle was saying to me. Why am I doing this to myself? I’m refusing to let Zayn apologize and try to fix everything between us when really deep inside I know I want nothing more than for that to happen. Why am I being so stubborn and selfish?
“Where is he now?” I asked her
“Still sitting in the same chair, we’re still at the airport. I doubt he’ll want to leave anytime soon” Danielle answered
“I’m on my way” I quickly responded without even thinking it through. I knew I’d regret it later on if I didn’t do my part in trying to fix thing between us.
After hanging up the phone with Danielle I threw on some decent clothes and quickly ran downstairs.
“Dad I need to get to the airport!”
“Why? Now?” He asked while giving me an odd and confused look
“It’s nearly 11 o’clock, I can’t go by myself” I said as I continued to beg and plead for my dad to drive me
“You need to teach your daughter discipline Dave, she can’t get everything she wants. I don’t think you should take her since you already spoil her enough.” Tessa said to my dad in an innocent voice making her seem like an angel.
“WHAT?! Tessa shutup, you know nothing about me, I don’t get everything I want and my dad doesn’t spoil me at all.” I yelled back at her
She looked at me in disgust after telling her off; surprisingly my Dad didn’t get angry or even comment on my outburst.
“Dad, Zayn’s at the airport waiting for me, I need to go. Please?”
My eyes started to get teary as I waited for my dad to respond to my question.
He looked from me to Tessa then back to me and smiled. “Alright let’s go”
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Teenage Struggles - Chapter Fifteen
As soon as I heard the Zayn’s car engine turn on and I was sure that he had left my house, I immediately broke down and cried on the floor. The only person at this point in my life that truly made me happy was gone and it killed me to think that he would soon be living his dream with his five best friends and I will be sitting at home continuing to cry over this relationship for the rest of my life.
The doorbell rang and I felt my heart skip a beat. I quickly wiped all the tears from my face and rushed to open the door. When I opened it, the pizza man stood there with my medium sized pizza and drinks in hand. I disappointedly paid for my dinner and abruptly shut the door. I guess I’m just going to have to get used to no more Zayn in my life.
The night seemed to take forever to go by; even if I fell asleep it wouldn’t last long. I’m normally a really heavy sleeper but tonight everything seemed to wake me up. Eventually morning came and I again started crying once I heard my What Makes You Beautiful alarm go off. It was almost time head to work but I really wasn’t in the mood to spend too much time on myself so I just slipped on my worn out white skinny jeans and my old Jack Wills sweater. As I was about to leave, my Dad came in the house with one of his co-workers, though it was unusual because I didn’t recognize her. The middle aged brunette rushed over and forced a hug on me.
“Hi April, I’m Tessa. You’re dad has told me so much about you!”
I looked over to my dad in confusion; he didn’t say a word and just stood behind her smiling at me.
“Hi” I finally responded
“You are so pretty! Any boyfriends?” She asked “I’m joking, I’m joking. You’re still way too young for a boyfriend, I won’t allow my daughter to have one until she’s at least 19”
(And I thought my Dad was protective…)
My heart sunk when she said boyfriend. My eyes began tearing uncontrollably; I looked over to my dad. I think he understood what had happened as I could tell by the horrified look on his face after he saw my reaction.
“I’m going to work.” I yelled at him as I ran out the door in tears
The next few weeks flew by. My Dad and Tessa were now officially a couple… great. On a few of my days off I was forced to look after her 8 year old annoying daughter. At least the Claire and Laura drama was now over though, Zayn and I broke up and that’s exactly what they both wanted. One day during work, Claire had sarcastically asked me how Zayn and I were doing, I told her that we were over and I casually got back to work making it seem as though that the breakup didn’t really bug me. Every day I avoided any long conversations with anyone and kept to myself the whole time and I especially tried my best to keep my mind off of him.
September was nearing and school would be starting soon, the beginning of the summer seemed to have gone by so fast when I was with Zayn. It was a late Thursday night, when I got home from work, my Dad and Tessa were sitting on the couch together watching TV. They both turned to the door as I walked in.
“Hey Dad, did you see my phone? I think I left here this morning.” I asked
“Yeah it’s on the counter, it went off a few times throughout the day” He told me
“Aren’t you going to say hi to me April?” Tessa rudely asked
“No.” I responded as I walked up the stairs to my room
I really did try my best to give Tessa a chance in the beginning but over the past few weeks she has been nothing but rude to me so therefor I don’t feel at all guilty about acting the same way towards her.
I fell into my cosy red beanbag chair and began to check through my text messages and missed calls.
4 unread text messages
2 missed calls
I read through my texts first, 3 of the four were from friends from school and one was from Zayn.
I need to talk with you as soon as possible, please text me back when you read this
“No you stupid asshole.” I angrily shouted as I threw my phone across the room and shoved my face into a pillow
After taking a few minutes to cool off I finally got up and listened to the 2 voicemails.
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Teenage Struggles - Chapter Fourteen
I went out to see the boys a few times in the second half of the signing and I noticed that Harry seemed a lot happier than he was before lunch, probably because of the girl he met at McDonalds. Aww! The second half of the signing flew by and before I knew it, it was already time for Zayn and I to start heading home. I was sitting on a nearby couch with Danielle and Liam, listening to the two lovers sarcastically talk with one another.
“Do you want to head over to my place and order dinner?” Niall asked Zayn in the backroom after the signing
“I think I’m staying the night at Aprils tonight actually” Zayn told him
“Oh… are you planning on doing it tonight?” Niall whispered
Zayn nodded but looked a little uneasy.
I somehow managed to overhear that part of the conversation and I couldn’t help but freak out inside. What did he mean by it? I’m not ready for this, I’m only 16 and I just met Zayn like a week ago, but then again I really like him and he’s not like any other boyfriend I’ve ever had. We instantly clicked when we met and I just feel so comfortable around him now. Before I met him I always thought I would never turn down an opportunity like this. I guess now that I know him as a person it’s different, before I never thought I’d have the chance so I never thought twice about it.
Zayn approached me and asked if I was ready to go home. I anxiously said yes and we got security to lead us out to the car.
The drive home was really quiet, I was trying my best not to think about what was going to happen when we got to my house but the thought just kept haunting me. I looked down at my hand and started fiddling with my ring; I tend to do that a lot when I’m nervous.
When I was really young my mom gave me a promise ring and I’ve worn it every day ever since. Of course I didn’t know what it symbolized when I she had given it to me but a few months before she died she had told me that the purpose of it wasn’t to keep me from having sex until marriage, but it was to wait until I truly felt ready and knew it was with the right person. I’m not ready to break that promise I have with my mom even if it means saying no to Zayn.
“Why are you so quiet babe?” He asked me as we were nearing my house
“Um… no reason. I’m just tired that’s all.” I responded “I hope you don’t mind but I’ll probably be going to sleep early today.”
Zayn looked over to me and smiled. “Me too”
As soon as we got to my house, I ran up to my room to change into my pj’s. Zayn followed close behind and came in to drop off his bag then jumped onto my bed and watched me as I was jumping around the room struggling to get my pants on.
“I’m going to take a shower, I’ll be down in a sec” Zayn said as he walked over to the bathroom.
“Okay, I’ll order us a pizza” I told him as I made my way downstairs
I called the pizza company and ordered us a medium cheese pizza and 2 pops. I then sat down on the couch and turned the TV on to watch the Much Music countdown at 6. Minutes later, I heard Zayn’s footsteps as he came down the stairs. I turned around to look at him; he was wearing only a white towel around his waist and his toned upper body was still dripping wet, I couldn’t help but stare. He also brought his bag of clothes down and laid close to the front door. He quickly ran to the bathroom and changed into his clothes. Zayn then sat next to me on the couch, wrapped one of his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek.
“Hey April… I really have to tell you something” He looked straight into my eyes as he said this and his facial expression was totally serious.
“What’s wrong?” I concernedly asked him
“Over the past few weeks I’ve gotten really attached to you, emotionally and physically. April, whenever you’re not around the boys tell me I look sad or upset and you know what? The truth is that I’m literally always thinking or talking about you no matter where I am or what I’m doing.”
I tried my best to hold them back but the tears just came streaming down my face as Zayn admitted everything to me.
“I honestly love you like I’ve loved nobody else, it’s funny how I fell for you so quickly too.”
Zayn loudly sighed.
Anyway I wanted to tell you that I really don’t know if we’ll be able to continue our relationship anymore. It’s going to soon be announced to the fans that we’re going on a huge worldwide tour and we’ll be away from home for a few months.”
My heart dropped suddenly when I heard those words that I wished and hoped would never be said, come out of his mouth.
It took a moment for me to get it to set into my head.
“So is this the end of us then?” I managed to ask without bursting into tears
Zayn got up and reached for his bag and coat and opened the front door.
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